When a relationship ends, there's usually a plan for who keeps the furniture, the house, or the family car. But deciding what happens with your child is far more important, and often the most emotional part of separation. Children rely on parents to make choices that keep their lives stable, safe, and full of love.

In British Columbia , the law helps parents create a plan for caring for their children so they can continue to grow and thrive, even if their parents live in two different homes. That means deciding:

1️⃣ How much time the child spends with each parent (parenting time)
2️⃣ Who makes important decisions for the child (decision-making responsibilities)

This guide explains how those decisions are made in BC, in simple language that anyone can understand.

Why These Decisions Matter So Much

Children need stability. They need to know:

1. Who they will be living with

2. When will they see each parent

3. Who signs the school forms or chooses doctors

Without clear agreements, confusion starts… then arguments… then stress for everyone, especially the child. Courts in BC want to prevent conflict because conflict hurts children.

Think of these rules as a roadmap to keeping your child's world calm and predictable.

The Law in British Columbia: Family Law Act

BC's Family Law Act is built around one big rule:

Every decision should be made in the best interests of the child.

Not the parents.
Not grandparents.
Not friends giving advice.

Just the child.

The law believes that both parents should play a meaningful role , unless there are safety concerns like abuse, neglect, or violence.

So, even if parents disagree often, the goal is to help the child keep strong and healthy relationships with both sides of the family.

What Does “Best Interests of the Child” Really Mean?

Imagine the court putting the child in the center of the room and asking:

“What does this child need to feel safe, loved, and supported every day?”

To answer that, the judge looks at many things, such as:

1. Will the child feel safe and cared for in each home?

2. Can each parent handle school, meals, bedtime, and emotional needs?

3. Is the child close to each parent?

4. Can the parents talk respectfully and cooperate?

5. Does the child have wishes of their own?

If the child is old enough to speak clearly about what they want, the court might listen, but only if it won't cause harm or pressure.

Parenting Schedules: Different Families, Different Plans

There is no “perfect parenting schedule.”
Families choose what works for their life.

Examples:

1. Week-on / Week-off – equal time

2. Weekdays with one parent + weekends with the other

3. 3 days / 4 days split based on work shifts

4. Longer visits during school holidays if parents live farther apart

What matters most is that the child:

✔ Knows the routine
✔ Has enough time to connect with both parents
✔ Stays involved in school and activities

Courts dislike schedules that constantly change or depend on who is angry that week.

Why Parenting Time Disputes Happen

Even loving parents can disagree because:

1. Emotions are high

2. They worry about losing connection with the child

3. Their parenting styles are different

4. Work schedules make things challenging

Arguments can start small, like pick-up times, and grow into major battles.

But there are ways to solve problems before they explode.

Fix Problems Early: Communication Comes First

Here are three guiding rules for separated parents:

1️⃣ Talk politely even when frustrated
2️⃣ Share important information about the child
3️⃣ Stay flexible , kids get sick, schedules change

A helpful mindset:

"We are not fighting each other.
We are working together to raise our child."

If parents cannot fix it alone, they can get help.

Tools for Solving Parenting Disagreements

Mediation

A trained mediator helps parents talk and find solutions.
Parents stay in control of the final decision.
Private. Less stress.

Arbitration

If talking fails, an arbitrator (like a private judge) decides.
Faster than court, but still legally binding.

Parenting Coordinator

Helps with day-to-day disagreements like school trips or pick-up times.
Useful when a court order already exists.

Court (Last Resort)

A judge will choose what's best for the child.
Public. It can take months. Expensive.
Used only when safety or a major conflict exists.

Why Early Resolution Matters

Delaying problems creates:

1. More arguments

2. Confusion for children

3. Risk of high legal costs

4. Longer emotional pain for parents

Children often blame themselves for fighting.
Quick solutions protect their mental and emotional health .

Shared Responsibilities in BC

Most families follow one of these decision-making styles:

1. Joyce Model
   Parents discuss, but if stuck, one parent decides the final answer.

2. Horn Model
   Parents must agree before acting on major decisions.

Both models require communication and teamwork, not competition.

Collaborative Planning: Bringing Family Together

BC encourages a stronger support network:
family members, elders, counselors, and trusted community helpers.

This helps:

✔ Reduce fights
✔ Keep children out of the middle
✔ Build a plan that feels fair and supportive for everyone

Sometimes, extended family can help solve what lawyers and judges cannot.

When Should You Get Legal Help?

If a parent feels unheard or unsure of their rights, a lawyer can help set the record straight.

The best Child Custody lawyers in Surrey assist with:

1. Explaining your rights clearly and calmly

2. Helping create a parenting schedule

3. Communicating with the other parent or their lawyer

4. Protecting your child from stressful court battles

5. Representing you if the case goes to a hearing

Lawyers also protect you from mistakes that could hurt your case later.

The Goal: A Healthy Childhood After Separation

Even though parents separate, parenting continues. What children want most is:

1. Love from both parents

2. Stability in their routines

3. Peaceful communication between their caregivers

Children should never feel like trophies that one parent must “win.”

They deserve to grow up with confidence, knowing both parents worked together for their happiness.

Need Support With Parenting Time in BC?

If you are dealing with disagreements about parenting time or decision-making , Legalbird is here to help. Our Surrey family law team listens carefully and guides you step by step so you understand every option.

Your child's future matters; let's protect it together.

Reach out today for guidance and support.